Making Visitation Easier On the Kids

Divorce is not easy on anybody; however, probably those individuals most affected by the divorce are the children. Here are some ways to try and ease the visitation process and make it a little less painful for the kids.

View Visitation In Light of Children’s Ages

It is important to keep the ages of your children in mind when trying to decide how long each access period should be. In general, for infants and toddlers, shorter and more frequent access is normally better. If the child is older, then the visitation time period can be a bit longer.

Be Consistent

Children of all ages do better with consistent schedules. While the vagaries of life necessitate some flexibility in dealing with access, keeping to a specific routine as much as possible will normally help your children.

Be On Time

Divorce is stressful on a child. The last thing a parent wants for their child is to have them feel stressed about whether a parent is going to show up or not. That is why it is important that parents are on time to pick their kids up for visitation periods.

Make Sure the Kids are Fed and Rested

Sometimes, one parent will want to get back at the other individual and do things such as: (a) not having the kids ready when the ex-spouse comes to get them; or (b) making sure the kids hungry or cranky from lack of sleep. Try to avoid using your children as pawns in this manner.

Make Sure the Kids are Ready to Go

The children should be packed and ready to go when the other parent comes to get them. In addition, parents should let their children bring their favorite toys, blankets or stuffed animals with them so that they feel safer and secure throughout the visit.

Have Fun with the Kids

By having a good time, the parent is letting the children know that they are happy to be with them. Do fun activities and spend some real quality time with the children while they are visiting.

No Bickering or Lengthy Discussions with the Ex-Spouse

There is often the tendency to get into discussions about business matters when the parents meet at visitation pick up or drop off. Try to refrain from doing this as it only leads to a more stressful transition for the kids. Discuss things of this nature at other times, especially when the children are not present.

Beginning and End of Visitation

When one parent sends the children off with the other parent, tell the youngsters how much they will be missed and wish them a good time. When the children come back after visiting the other parent, don’t interrogate them as to what they did, who they saw, etc. Don’t badmouth the other parent.

Provide Access to the Other Parent

Kids miss the other parent when they are not with them. It is only natural. For this reason, let the children know that they can call the other parent anytime they want to. It gives the child a choice and if they want to talk to the other parent, they can do so.

Other Articles about Child Custody

  • Common Child Custody Concerns – Perhaps the biggest thing that parents fear with regard to the issue of child custody is the possibility of having their children testifying in court.
  • Child Custody Assessments – A child custody assessment is an investigation by a psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker.
  • Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements.
  • Making Visitation Easier On the Children – Here are some ways to try and ease the visitation process and make it a little less painful for the kids.
  • Divorce and Relocating Children – Even if you have sole custody of your children you still must obtain the permission of the other parent before moving.
  • Joint Custody – “Joint custody” means that both parents have the right to make these decisions for their children.
  • Avoiding Summer Visitation Problems – When summer is coming, divorced and separated parents frequently run into problems with their custody and visitation situations during vacation periods.
  • Relocation Issues – What happens when one parent wants to move away with the children?

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